Going with the Flow

This past week was a doozie! Jesse and I experienced, for the first time, what it's like being sick with kids. It is not fun, as you might imagine. We have small group Tuesday nights and this week we were hosting so I spent most of nap time tidying up the house and making sure things looked (semi) in order. Jackson had been spitting up extra a few times that morning but was still our happy little cheeser so I chalked it up to teething and didn't think much about it. 

We have a babysitter for small group but our boys, being young, fairly quiet and needily wanting to be held in the evenings, usually stay with us during group. As long as they have something to chew and drool on they're pretty chill. We were cautious with Jackson because of his projectile spitting that day but we eagerly passed Samson on to our group members with baby fever. 

Big mistake!

Samson ended up throwing up all over himself and the only young couple in the group without kids. Great. Sorry guys! I still thought we were teething so I stripped him down, fed him in his diaper, and passed him off to another guy in our group as we chatted at the end.

Bleh! 

Again??

Seriously kid!

This is when I started to realize this wasn't a teeth issue. Samson, having thrown up all that I had just fed him, started getting pale looking and fussy. I fed him again (and Jackson of course), carefully burped them and we laid them in bed, half expecting to be awakened by them in a few hours.

Much to our surprise they slept well into the night (which they had been doing just fine before getting sick). I, however, didn't have as much luck sleeping. I was awakened around midnight with the nastiest flu symptoms. My first thought, as I was hugging the toilet, was that I was pregnant. I am not. But the constant vomiting was so reminiscent of my first trimester with the boys that's where my mind automatically went. I wasn't fully convinced it was the flu until Jesse got sick 24 hours later and went through the same cycles I did. 

Neither of us had been sick from a bug like that since living on our own and it was our first sickness to endure while taking care of our twinfants. It beat us down and I don't feel like we've fully recovered yet, almost a week later. 

Even though the flu lasted only 24 hours (thank God!), the repercussions of it threw us all out of whack. Having not eaten for a whole day my milk supply tanked causing us to have to dip into my freezer stash. Doing the whole bottle washing thing with twins, by the way, is ridiculously hard. To get my supply back up, not only did I eat and drink as much as possible the next few days, but I also tried nursing around the clock. Which was super important for them as well because they had lost weight throwing up so much and having less of an appetite while they were sick.

It's been hard having everyone so off schedule the last few days. I am such a creature of habit, I like planning and having my day (life and home) organized. We have had our boys on a schedule that we've found works for us, feeding them every 3 hours so between 8am and 8pm, then letting them sleep during the night. It allows us to have some time for ourselves in the evenings, encourages the boys to sleep as long as they will, and gives us as much sleep as we need. It also gives me clues as to what their needs are depending on where we are in our cycle. Now that we are off schedule we are having to "re-train" them to sleep through the night...I've forgotten how hard this was and we just went through it a few months ago! Oh well, here we go again.

I'm realizing the importance of being flexible and going with the flow of life. Just when I start to get cocky about this whole twin parenting thing they change (how dare they!) and I find myself needing to find my bearings once again. Once we get back on schedule they will probably REALLY start teething and waking up constantly at night and will once again show me that I am not really in control here. Thank you, Jesus, for the constant reminder of my need to rely on you and not on "the schedule" or things I think I can control.

Below are photo's and the beginning of the post I was working on last week before we all became sick. Our boys are 19.5 weeks old now so I'll have to do another IN/OUT photo soon:

March will always be a special month for us. At this time last year we were pregnant with our boys, although we wouldn't find out for a few more days (March 27th). It's strange to think how fast time has flown by and how many changes have occurred in just a year! They have grown from tiny little beans to 4 month old, 2 feet long little squealers.

This is my favorite face combination! Both boys do the "pout-smile" extremely well but I just happened to catch Samson in action last week. They have it in their heads that their carseats are some form of punishment and we have left them all alone in the backseat to fend for themselves. PTL for our van! Sometimes all a crabby baby needs is to hold onto Mommy's finger while she sings REM along with the radio.

Cherishing the moments: Month Four

 

My babies are four months old today. Where has the time gone?! It seems like they were just born yesterday and should still need my constant attention. But here they are in their four month old bodies, promising to grow like weeds.

I am learning each day that I need to enjoy every moment of every stage, and what a sweet stage this one is! It has not been a challenge to enjoy my newfound status of SAHM (stay at home mom) these past couple of weeks because our boys are in such a fun time of their lives. Getting sleep helps with my new euphoric attitude as well!

Jackson is such a smile-er! When I go to get them from their cribs in the mornings or after their naps he grins from ear to ear when he sees me. This little one seems to carry each emotion strongly. When he's happy, you know it (clap your hands!) But when he's upset, Lord have mercy, his cry is piercing, not unlike a pterodactyl (who knew you spelled that word with a 'p'?!). He likes to be on his belly and kick and scoot; I have a feeling he will be the first to crawl and walk, which is only fitting since he's the firstborn. He sits (with the help of the Bumbo) really well, grasps at toys, chews on whatever he can fit into his mouth (darn teeth), drools enough to dehydrate himself, and stands up on his strong little legs whenever supported.

He's even started talking! Well, if you count "gluh" as a word :)

Samson is more laid back. Don't get me wrong he smiles and laughs and cries just like his brother, but there's something more even keeled about him. He is a better napper than Jackson, and doesn't seem too upset that he's "missing out" on the super fun (cleaning) activities mom is doing while they're in their cribs. He is also skilled like his brother in the arts of sitting, grabbing, chewing, and standing, although he would prefer to make the dent in the back of his head permanent over laying on his tummy. He is still the bigger eater even though he only weighs a few ounces more than his brother. During a mid-night feeding the other night Jesse turns over and asks, "who's gulping??"

Did you really need to ask?

It's fun to see their personalities beginning to emerge. They've been different from the beginning but it's neat to be able to pinpoint what some of those differences are. When people would ask me about my two month olds, "Have you noticed differences in their personalities yet?" I would respond with a, "Well ya! Sometime they cry at different times, and...(mumbling, trailing off, changing topic)" Then I would feel like a terrible mother for not knowing my children.

But I do know them...and they know me, and the four of us are having the time of our lives!

Life with kids on a budget

I recently received this question from a friend and mamma-to-be: 

"I'm working on planning and budgeting and thought you may have some tips. I am probably staying home next year and so we are trying to cut back while I'm still looking at buying maternity clothes, cloth diapers, baby supplies, etc...so do you have any advice for me regarding shopping for stuff or pregnancy in general?"

Boy do I ever!! My husband and I have been (mostly) frugal since we got married. Our wedding was on a budget, so was our honeymoon and life together thereafter. We have always tried to live on one (Jesse's) income because we knew in the future we would have kids and would want (me) to be able to stay home if at all possible. When we found out we were pregnant with twins we realized we needed to be even more aware of how we spent our money and try to use what God has blessed us with wisely. 

We are not perfect at this! It's really hard in today's society to look at what you have and be grateful for how the Lord has provided. I struggle with this daily.


A few months ago I had taken the boys to Jesse's classroom to visit after school. It was nearing their feeding time and they were starting to get antsy as we packed up to head home. I responded to Jackson's shrieking cry with this, "Son, when have I ever NOT fed you?!" In that moment I heard the Lords voice echo that same phrase in my ear, "Steph, when have I ever NOT fed you??" He always provides for us, always:

 "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Matthew 6:30, ESV)

I am paraphrasing my response to her and taking out some personal info for anonymity. Here are some of the things we have found helpful, that has freed us up to use our money to better serve the Lord with and not ourselves:

There are not enough nap times in the world to cross everything off on my to-do list...sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you!

Ok so the combination of Jesse being ridiculously frugal and me being a hippy has boded well for us in the area of finances. We try to make as many things as possible and fight commercialism, buying only what we and the boys need, to keep our expenses down.

1. Something you can do now is save/set aside $2-3K for hospital bills and pregnancy appointments. We haven't received all of our bills yet but kids are pricey and depending on how many interventions/appt's you need you can be responsible for several thousand. Having that money set aside beforehand is a huge stress off your shoulders when your baby comes! (A big saver for us was also having a natural birth. Epiderals are expensive and so is paying for the anesthesiologist! I didn't take any med's in the hospital, a Tylenol is even like $10/pill, and it cut down on our bill significantly. Obviously you can't help it if you need a C-section or other interventions, just food for thought.)

2. Also start living off of his income alone (if you don't already do that). We have always lived off of Jesse's income and saved mine so we were used to it but it's still a shock not having that second income.

The two biggest money-savers after babies for us have been breastfeeding and cloth diapering:

3. Breastfeeding: There's a big learning curve to it but MOST women will produce enough milk to feed their babies everything they need. I am still amazed at how my milk has adapted to feeding two babies who have already doubled their birth weight. I won't bombard you with tips or how-to's now but feel free to ask me any questions when the time comes. We had problems in the beginning with poor latches and weight gain issues so it hasn't always been easy for us but it is 1. the best food for babies, 2. comes out "pre-measured" and at the right temp and 3. SO much cheaper than formula. (jumping off my bf-ing soapbox now :))

You can also receive a free pump with your insurance. That will be your best friend to help increase your supply and when he/she starts sleeping through the night you will feel so full it'll be painful if you don't pump it out! I have a Medela and highly recommend it!

4. Cloth diapering: We bought about 40 diapers from alvababy.com. At $5 per diaper and after purchasing nighttime inserts we spent about $230 on diapers that will last us (hopefully) years and several kids. In just a few months we have saved several hundred dollars. For one baby you would only need about 15-20 diapers to get started and can add to that if you find you need more. If you're thinking you might get into cloth diapering I can give you more info on our "system". It is extra work but for us it's worth it.

5. Hand-me-downs are wonderful! We got all our big-ticket items from older cousins who were done with the baby scene We got both our cribs, bouncy chairs, swing, rocking chair, etc from others which saved us a ton. It also freed our registry up for the smaller items that add up fast!

6. Put everything you might need for the first year on your registry. People are generous and loving buying baby things. We still have gifts that are unopened because we don't need them yet but it will be so helpful that we don't have to buy them later!

7. If you can, buy baby things that aren't labeled "baby". For example, we bought a in-home wi-fi security camera to view through our phones for the boys' room for about $60. A baby video monitor is $200-250 depending on the brand.

8. DIY it: I make a lot of things for the boys. It saves us a lot per month by just making our own baby wipes out of paper towels (since we cloth diaper I'm hoping to transition to cloth wipes soon and save even more). I can give you our wipe solution if you're interested. I just made swaddle sacks for our guys and fleece hats which were pretty simple and a fun hobby in the beginning when they napped for a few hrs at a time. And they only cost a couple bucks and a little time.

9. I just encourage you to get creative and have fun! And if you're getting too stressed out cloth diapering or making wipes buying disposable is just fine do whatever works for you guys financially and don't let them stress you out. Spending $200/month on diapers for us would be way more stressful than doing diaper laundry so that's motivation for us. Jesse and I are on the same page with these things we do to save money so we are able to support each other in them. If he wasn't such a big encouragement for breastfeeding and cloth diapering it would be way harder to keep going with them. There are countless nights when we're running low on diapers that Jesse is off doing diaper laundry while I'm nursing which is so helpful! I know if there's something I can't get done during the day I will have help when he gets home and that relieves so much of the pressure I put on myself to be "super mom".

10. Maternity clothes: I wore a lot of hand-me-downs from coworkers, especially for work clothes that I would probably only wear during that pregnancy. For the rest of my wardrobe I bought from oldnavy.com. I found some great sales and coupon codes and spent less than $100 total on new clothes. My fave's are ribbed tanks (stretch really well to whatever size belly you have), skinny jeans with belly band, and low-rise leggings w/o belly band. I liked wearing maternity tanks with maternity pants then I could wear my regular cardigans over them to be dressy. That might have saved a little bit and gave me more of a variety. You can also look on zulily.com. That's a good website with discounted maternity clothes.

Friends, these are just what's helped Jesse and I stay within our budget. This is, by far, not a comprehensive list! As our family grows and changes we will learn new "tricks" and hopefully get even better at stewarding our money.

How do you keep up with your families needs while still saving money? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas, feel free to post and share below!

Cherishing the Moments: Month 3

During the early newborn months so many people told me, "Just wait til the 3 month mark...it'll get better." Oh how I eagerly anticipated this stage where my boys would start to become more independent, discovering how to grasp toys and sitting up like big kids in their bumbo seats. And at the 3 month mark it seemed like a miracle happened: they started sleeping longer at night, only requiring one "dream" feed, and Jesse and I felt confident that we were on top of this parenting thing.

This lasted for about a week...if that.

I am no longer so cocky. To put it bluntly, this week has stunk. Our sweet babies have started waking several times at night again, leaving Jesse and I tired and with less patience during the day (my poor hubby and his poor students!) They have also learned that when they cry it causes a fast reaction from mom and dad; it's amazing how these little people can dictate our every move. We will hold them both (that's 24 lbs. of baby friends) and walk around for an hour just to keep the peace.

I was sure when we found out we were having twins that God would give us two chill, happy babies. It would just be cruel if not, right? Twins are born with a built in best friend and buddy, what would they need to cry about? Well I'm here to tell you even twins cry, especially at the same time and sometimes they cry all day.

During this phase we are working on anticipating their needs better, being patient when they're less than perfect, and teaching them to have self-control. God is showing us that we have a duty now, even when they're this small, to begin training them to be good stewards of their bodies and to grow in righteousness. What a task! I am learning that I am also a work in progress. My joy is in the Lord, not in whether or not these boys are fussy. As I find joy in Him, I will find joy even in the hardest of days.

I am choosing this week to be thankful for my sons and to cherish these moments, for they are fleeting. Share in my joy as I captured (literally) their best moments from this past week.

Jackson, loving the bumbo!

Jackson, mesmerized by the flash

Jackson, sporting the Hendricker family smirk

Jackson, tummy time!

Samson with his bright eyes!

Samson, laughing...

Samson's big smile!

Samson's deep belly laugh :)

Samson, laughing is fun!

Samson...I'm addicted to this face!

Jackson's cheeky grin

Jackson, caught him smiling at mommy's funny faces

My Twin Pregnancy Recap

"I think I could be a surrogate for someone, a close friend...if they asked me..." I say to my husband as we're driving, twins in tow. "Do you remember what pregnancy was like??" he asked, hoping an immediate flashback to all the vomiting and back pain would wonk this crazy thought from my mind.

It didn't. (And no I am not planning on becoming a baby factory.)

What it did do, however, is send me into a la-la-land type of daze remembering all the details, good and bad mind you, of my twin pregnancy.

Each pregnancy is unique and mine was going to be no different. I started showing a baby bump by 9 weeks...which is apparently early. By the time of our 12 week ultrasound I was already in maternity pants. I remember asking our midwife if I was carrying multiples, not really believing it could be true, as she felt around my stomach with the doppler. After hearing one fast little heartbeat we were so overjoyed that we forgot that first fleeting thought...for now.

18 weeks

Pregnancy made me ridiculously sick. Whoever dubbed the term "morning-sickness" has apparently never experienced it because at no time did my sickness stick to this daily schedule. I was lucky if I could keep any food down during the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. This constant flow of vomit ended me in the emergency room once followed shortly by a prompt care visit, both times eagerly accepting a healthy dose of fluids to get me back on my feet.

In the middle of this first trimester we found out we actually were having twins. We were (shocked, stupefied, scared out of our jammies and) thrilled! It all made sense now! The reason for all the puking, hair loss, and the fact that I had to switch to maternity pants after just a few weeks was now clear. Just a few weeks after we found out that our baby was actually bab-IES was when we found out that we would be welcoming into this world two little Jesse's. My husband and I always wanted our first to be a boy but we would have never guessed we would be blessed with two little boys at once! This sweet time was matched by the fact that my morning sickness started to subside and I was no longer tasting my handfuls of Cheerios for the second time.

The second trimester brought on it's own challenge: how to ingest as many calories as possible. During puk-a-polooza I managed to lose 10 lbs which is not desirable for any pregnancy, especially one with multiples. Jesse and I made the necessary changes to our shopping habits, much to his elation, and stocked up on bacon, eggs, protein powder and whole milk. Veggies would become a thing of the past (don't try this at home) as they would fill me for a nanosecond before I was in dire need of "real" food again. During my twin pregnancy I gained a total of 60+ lbs. reaching 192 lbs. by the week of my delivery. I am pretty sure this was unnecessary but my body did what it needed to tack on as many fat cells for those boys to cling onto.

Using non-toxic, prego-safe paint on our hallway

My third trimester was actually pretty boring. I was massive by then so at 31 weeks I had to stop working (several weeks past what Dr. Barbara Luke would recommend according to her book When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads). We had just moved into our new house so I spent my days as a stay-at-home-wife unpacking, cleaning, getting the boys' room ready, eating everything in sight and shamelessly watching Netflix from the comforts of my recliner.

31 weeks

When I was between 34-35 weeks along we had a labor scare that landed us an overnight stay at hotel de Methodist Hospital. I was big and tired and was so ready to not be pregnant but I knew my job was to keep these boys in as long as possible and I was determined to make it to 37 weeks! We had a doctor from the NICU come in and speak with us about the realities of giving birth to twins at this stage. While the boys would be fine they would need to be in the NICU with oxygen and feeding tubes and because of their size I would need a c-section. All I could do was cry as Jesse prayed I wouldn't progress any further. Thankfully after some minor bleeding, a few contractions, and small amount of dilating I was sent home with strict orders to take it easy for the duration of my pregnancy.

Soon after I was released and back to bumming it around the house my body started itching like crazy. I thought this was weird and certainly uncomfortable but nothing more. I mentioned this at my next NST appointment and I was immediately told to strip down to show the midwife my bumps and was sent to the lab for some blood work. There were two options: this was either a rare pregnancy rash that only goes away after birth, or a sign of liver/gallbladder failure because of pregnancy. Neither sounded super great but I prayed for the first one while they took some blood samples to be analyzed. This was like adding insult to injury at the tail end of my pregnancy. If I wasn't already excited to be done being pregnant I was now! Thankfully my blood test results showed nothing alarming and I was sent home with topical ointments that, of course, offered no relief.

Now because our twins are identical and they were in the same placenta we were considered even more high risk than twins would typically be. There was a risk of twin-to-twin transfusion with our boys, which is a condition causing the twins to share blood. This results in one twin having too much and the other having too little leading to complications and sometimes death. Because of this risk we were matched with a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor who we saw every other week for ultrasounds and growth scans. This was the hardest part of the pregnancy, knowing that at any time our boys could develop this serious condition and we could lose them. I cannot express how grateful I am to the Lord that this is something we never had to face head on.

From the start of this pregnancy I was planning on having a natural water birth, which is why we chose a midwife instead of a traditional OB. With twins a water birth was out of the question because of the inability to monitor everyone wirelessly but I still held onto the hope that I would need the least amount of intervention possible. Up until the end we were unsure if we would need to have a C-section or not because my active little boys kept flipping! This was a big area of surrender for me as I realized I was not in control of this at all; I mainly had to trust in the Lord that the outcome would be healthy baby boys no matter how they arrived.

Belly-fully of wires at one of my NST appointments

Finally, Baby A was head down and Baby B was breach and we had a decision to make. We were aware of the risks of going into delivery with a breach baby and were told time and time again that I would at least need an epidural - just in case. After much prayer and deliberation my husband and I (with the guidance of our midwife) decided the best course of action would be to bring our boys into the world the way we had always imagined. The week of our induction, scheduled for that Friday, I still had my appointments with my midwife to monitor the babies heart rates, my blood pressure and etc. By the end of my pregnancy I had been seeing my midwife twice weekly for NST's (non-stress tests) and the MFM every other week so I was no stranger to being hooked up to monitors and having people poke and prod at my enormous belly. At my last scheduled office visit my midwife wanted to see if I was dilated and I eagerly waited for her to give me some good news to bypass the induction thing all together. Sadly I was still only a few centimeters along but she lifted my semi-bed rest restrictions and sent me on my way.

In my last week of pregnancy even photoshop
can't hide the tired look on my face!

I wanted so badly to go into labor on my own so I was an active woman for the rest of the day cleaning, hanging curtains, and ending with a wonderful date night out with my hubby. I thought I was having some (faint) contractions throughout the evening so that night I headed to bed hopeful it wouldn't be long.

And it wasn't!

My water broke just before midnight Wednesday night with a vengeance! It took a nanosecond to realize what was happening before I woke Jesse up, ripped the sheets off the bed (so the mattress wouldn't get dirty of course), and hobbled towards the shower. After sufficiently rinsing off I hopped out of the shower, grabbed my towel and...another gush! Wait a minute! I thought your water only broke once?? "Maybe it's the other sac," I thought. I rinsed off again thinking I was surely done with this leaking nonsense.

Nope...

There's more??

I should have read up on this part a little bit more because, boy was I clueless!! After resigning to the fact that I wouldn't get to feel clean for at least the next 24 hours I threw on some comfy clothes, grabbed my bag (and a thick towel to sit on) and headed towards the car.

We drove to the hospital downtown, after phoning our midwife on the way, and Jesse dropped me off at the entrance while he parked the car. I humbly hobbled past a group of young teenagers towards the front desk and asked for a wheelchair escort as I continued to leak onto the floor. I was feeling a lot of pressure by then and was afraid with each step a baby was going to come sliding out. The woman hesitantly whisked me up to the 3rd floor where I checked in with triage, changed and was hooked up to monitors while they were waking up the doctor on call.

The OB on call that night had been the physician from our office that Jesse and I couldn't see eye to eye with. She was very eager to label me high risk and jot me down for a scheduled c-section, making me feel like I had no say in the matter of birthing my own children. Neither party was thrilled of the other so when she popped into our room to make me sign a "just in case" c-section form it was cold and brief and we just prayed our midwife would arrive soon.

After being checked into our room we were able to walk around the floor as I labored. I always envisioned wanting to be up and walking, bouncing on a labor ball, etc. The last thing I wanted was to be tied to a bed unable to move as I pleased. This little trek was short and sweet as contractions picked up quickly and I was overcome with the urge to lay down. And lay down I did, for the duration of my labor.

For me, laboring was all encompassing every part of my being. It was physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. With each contraction getting stronger and stronger I felt myself sinking deeper into a place of relaxation. Jesse, my husband, was an amazing coach. He had studied the Bradley Method for the past few months and was ready to help me handle whatever birthing challenge came our way. I would not have been able to be so strong without his constant encouragement. With each contraction he urged me to relax, rubbing my arms and back and speaking to me softly, allowing me to feel at peace (well as peaceful as you can be during labor). I remember thinking, "If Jesus could suffer so that I could have life, I can suffer for the lives of my sons." My pain and suffering is a tiny fraction of the pain and suffering Jesus went through as He died on the cross for my sins. As He was separated from God the Father in his pain, I was united. I have never felt closer to the Lord than I did in those moments before and as my children were being brought into this world.

When the time came to push I was filled with this new energy and excitement. I should have been scared out of my mind by this point but it was like my body knew what was coming and was ready. They moved us into the OR (just in case) with a team of 15-20 professionals ranging from an anesthesiologist, two NICU teams, doctors, nurses, interns and our lovely and talented midwife, Ame.

My favorite birthing team. Jesse and Ame

I was oblivious to the excitement around us. My little world involved Jesse, myself (and the boys), Ame, and two wonderful nurses. The rest of the room was like an old camera trying to capture movement, it was all a blur.

Praying during labor

I tried pushing in several different positions before landing on my back in the traditional pose. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you feel your baby coming out of you. There is searing, hot pain all wrapped up with joy and determination. The moment I felt that last push and I saw my sweet boy, Jackson, I forgot about the pain, I even forgot for a moment that I wasn't done pushing. My eyes and heart were solely focused on this precious little gift from God that was crying on my chest.

My Jackson's first moments

As I wanted to slow this moment down and capture it forever in time the room around me frantically hurried around like Black Friday shoppers. Jesse's holding my hand screaming, "YES!" like I just scored a touchdown, our midwife hands me our son, Jesse cuts the umbilical cord, the doctor and resident rush in to do a quick flip on our breach baby still in utero, then it's time to give my Baby A to his pediatric team and focus on our second born.

Jackson, patiently waiting for the arrival of his tummy-mate

I could feel contractions start kicking in after only a few minutes reprise and it was time to start pushing again. I felt such a high from already birthing Jackson and I was more confident this time around. I started pushing and I could feel our other sweet baby beginning to emerge. He was halfway out when my contraction and urge to push abruptly stopped leaving me holding his position and staring at my midwife with wide eyes. "You have to push anyway!" Ame cried, and through sweat and tears I gave birth to little Samson.

Samson with the caring NICU team

Samson

This time was different, my midwife was silent, Jesse cut the cord quickly then Ame rushed him over to the NICU team before even allowing me to see him. Then time stood still and the only thing I longed to hear is the sound I hate most now, my baby cry. And cry he did! After a quick assessment Samson was wrapped and brought to my chest so I could bond with my little Baby B. After 12 hours of labor we had done it, Jesse and I and our amazing team at Methodist hospital, had just witnessed a miracle. The Lord gave us two sons only 22 minutes apart and in those moments we felt the richness of His mercy!

Finally able to hold my Baby B, Samson

Our first family photo: Jesse with Jackson as I hold Samson

As I write this story our boys are three months old. They are growing like weeds and are our pride and joys! I love watching them change and learn how to use their little bodies that house them. I pray for them daily that God would call them as His own and use them for His glory. Jesse and I have a big task ahead of us - raising Godly men but we feel so honored by the privilege to do so.

Newborn Photo Shoot

These are several months late but I can't help but share my favorites with you. My sweet and talented friend helped capture our littles first days at home during our newborn photoshoot. We managed to make it for a few hours with them fast asleep...and boy did they love peeing all over Shelli's blankets. Today, three months later, I still haven't learned that little boys will pee if you let them hang free. The nursery wall got a good spray when mommy wasn't looking this morning. Oh well, there's a learned curve to this job, there's grace for that right??

Samson (L) and Jackson (R)

Sweet Samson

Samson

Baby Jackson

Jackson

Jackson, I love this close-up

Jackson

Samson

Samson, modestly crossing his legs :)

Jackson

I can't believe how small they were! Jesse with Jackson, I with Samson

Samson

Samson (bottom), Jackson (top)

Samson (bottom), Jackson (top)

Overview of the past year

2013 will always be a precious year to me. My husband and I began it in January with the hopes to starting our family that year. Little did we know that we would become pregnant right away, finding out on March 27th. The next milestone happened just a few weeks later when we went in for our first ultrasound. We were about to participate in a medical study through our hospital for first time mothers and in return we would receive frequent ultrasounds, a carseat, babygear, and a 3D ultrasound (all for free). So at 12 1/2 weeks along we sat in on our first appointment, excited to learn more about our baby and how our pregnancy was progressing. This is the first time I've seen my husband lose his composure, the moment I will always remember in detail, when the nurse said, "Oh! There's TWO in there!" From that moment on we were destined to be parents of multiples, identical baby boys. My husband, a clever and witty man, blogged about the entire pregnancy from a fathers perspective so you can read the details of the next 9 months here.

On November 7th we welcomed our littles into this world without once deviating from our birth plan, thanks to my husband and coach, and our amazing midwife. I am still amazed at how the female body is made to go through hours of labor and still have the energy to push (through the pain) not one, but two babies out. Our Creator is amazing! Jackson was born first followed just 22 minutes later by little Samson, both weighing just under 6 lbs. each. A few days later we brought our boys home and thus began life as we know if full of beauty and chaos. I have never been more tired in my life and I have also never felt so blessed before now. Watching my babies grow is the best gift God could have given me.

My husband and I have so much to be thankful for from 2013 and are looking forward to all that this next year will bring. My goals this year are to read through the bible (Genesis - Revelation), breastfeed my littles until their 1st birthday, grow in wisdom and grace, lose the rest of my twin preggo weight, and document our lives (via blogging) weekly. I am getting a late start but, hey, I just had twins!

Here are the highlights of our last few months together: