Going with the Flow

This past week was a doozie! Jesse and I experienced, for the first time, what it's like being sick with kids. It is not fun, as you might imagine. We have small group Tuesday nights and this week we were hosting so I spent most of nap time tidying up the house and making sure things looked (semi) in order. Jackson had been spitting up extra a few times that morning but was still our happy little cheeser so I chalked it up to teething and didn't think much about it. 

We have a babysitter for small group but our boys, being young, fairly quiet and needily wanting to be held in the evenings, usually stay with us during group. As long as they have something to chew and drool on they're pretty chill. We were cautious with Jackson because of his projectile spitting that day but we eagerly passed Samson on to our group members with baby fever. 

Big mistake!

Samson ended up throwing up all over himself and the only young couple in the group without kids. Great. Sorry guys! I still thought we were teething so I stripped him down, fed him in his diaper, and passed him off to another guy in our group as we chatted at the end.

Bleh! 

Again??

Seriously kid!

This is when I started to realize this wasn't a teeth issue. Samson, having thrown up all that I had just fed him, started getting pale looking and fussy. I fed him again (and Jackson of course), carefully burped them and we laid them in bed, half expecting to be awakened by them in a few hours.

Much to our surprise they slept well into the night (which they had been doing just fine before getting sick). I, however, didn't have as much luck sleeping. I was awakened around midnight with the nastiest flu symptoms. My first thought, as I was hugging the toilet, was that I was pregnant. I am not. But the constant vomiting was so reminiscent of my first trimester with the boys that's where my mind automatically went. I wasn't fully convinced it was the flu until Jesse got sick 24 hours later and went through the same cycles I did. 

Neither of us had been sick from a bug like that since living on our own and it was our first sickness to endure while taking care of our twinfants. It beat us down and I don't feel like we've fully recovered yet, almost a week later. 

Even though the flu lasted only 24 hours (thank God!), the repercussions of it threw us all out of whack. Having not eaten for a whole day my milk supply tanked causing us to have to dip into my freezer stash. Doing the whole bottle washing thing with twins, by the way, is ridiculously hard. To get my supply back up, not only did I eat and drink as much as possible the next few days, but I also tried nursing around the clock. Which was super important for them as well because they had lost weight throwing up so much and having less of an appetite while they were sick.

It's been hard having everyone so off schedule the last few days. I am such a creature of habit, I like planning and having my day (life and home) organized. We have had our boys on a schedule that we've found works for us, feeding them every 3 hours so between 8am and 8pm, then letting them sleep during the night. It allows us to have some time for ourselves in the evenings, encourages the boys to sleep as long as they will, and gives us as much sleep as we need. It also gives me clues as to what their needs are depending on where we are in our cycle. Now that we are off schedule we are having to "re-train" them to sleep through the night...I've forgotten how hard this was and we just went through it a few months ago! Oh well, here we go again.

I'm realizing the importance of being flexible and going with the flow of life. Just when I start to get cocky about this whole twin parenting thing they change (how dare they!) and I find myself needing to find my bearings once again. Once we get back on schedule they will probably REALLY start teething and waking up constantly at night and will once again show me that I am not really in control here. Thank you, Jesus, for the constant reminder of my need to rely on you and not on "the schedule" or things I think I can control.

Below are photo's and the beginning of the post I was working on last week before we all became sick. Our boys are 19.5 weeks old now so I'll have to do another IN/OUT photo soon:

March will always be a special month for us. At this time last year we were pregnant with our boys, although we wouldn't find out for a few more days (March 27th). It's strange to think how fast time has flown by and how many changes have occurred in just a year! They have grown from tiny little beans to 4 month old, 2 feet long little squealers.

This is my favorite face combination! Both boys do the "pout-smile" extremely well but I just happened to catch Samson in action last week. They have it in their heads that their carseats are some form of punishment and we have left them all alone in the backseat to fend for themselves. PTL for our van! Sometimes all a crabby baby needs is to hold onto Mommy's finger while she sings REM along with the radio.

Cherishing the moments: Month Four

 

My babies are four months old today. Where has the time gone?! It seems like they were just born yesterday and should still need my constant attention. But here they are in their four month old bodies, promising to grow like weeds.

I am learning each day that I need to enjoy every moment of every stage, and what a sweet stage this one is! It has not been a challenge to enjoy my newfound status of SAHM (stay at home mom) these past couple of weeks because our boys are in such a fun time of their lives. Getting sleep helps with my new euphoric attitude as well!

Jackson is such a smile-er! When I go to get them from their cribs in the mornings or after their naps he grins from ear to ear when he sees me. This little one seems to carry each emotion strongly. When he's happy, you know it (clap your hands!) But when he's upset, Lord have mercy, his cry is piercing, not unlike a pterodactyl (who knew you spelled that word with a 'p'?!). He likes to be on his belly and kick and scoot; I have a feeling he will be the first to crawl and walk, which is only fitting since he's the firstborn. He sits (with the help of the Bumbo) really well, grasps at toys, chews on whatever he can fit into his mouth (darn teeth), drools enough to dehydrate himself, and stands up on his strong little legs whenever supported.

He's even started talking! Well, if you count "gluh" as a word :)

Samson is more laid back. Don't get me wrong he smiles and laughs and cries just like his brother, but there's something more even keeled about him. He is a better napper than Jackson, and doesn't seem too upset that he's "missing out" on the super fun (cleaning) activities mom is doing while they're in their cribs. He is also skilled like his brother in the arts of sitting, grabbing, chewing, and standing, although he would prefer to make the dent in the back of his head permanent over laying on his tummy. He is still the bigger eater even though he only weighs a few ounces more than his brother. During a mid-night feeding the other night Jesse turns over and asks, "who's gulping??"

Did you really need to ask?

It's fun to see their personalities beginning to emerge. They've been different from the beginning but it's neat to be able to pinpoint what some of those differences are. When people would ask me about my two month olds, "Have you noticed differences in their personalities yet?" I would respond with a, "Well ya! Sometime they cry at different times, and...(mumbling, trailing off, changing topic)" Then I would feel like a terrible mother for not knowing my children.

But I do know them...and they know me, and the four of us are having the time of our lives!

Life with kids on a budget

I recently received this question from a friend and mamma-to-be: 

"I'm working on planning and budgeting and thought you may have some tips. I am probably staying home next year and so we are trying to cut back while I'm still looking at buying maternity clothes, cloth diapers, baby supplies, etc...so do you have any advice for me regarding shopping for stuff or pregnancy in general?"

Boy do I ever!! My husband and I have been (mostly) frugal since we got married. Our wedding was on a budget, so was our honeymoon and life together thereafter. We have always tried to live on one (Jesse's) income because we knew in the future we would have kids and would want (me) to be able to stay home if at all possible. When we found out we were pregnant with twins we realized we needed to be even more aware of how we spent our money and try to use what God has blessed us with wisely. 

We are not perfect at this! It's really hard in today's society to look at what you have and be grateful for how the Lord has provided. I struggle with this daily.


A few months ago I had taken the boys to Jesse's classroom to visit after school. It was nearing their feeding time and they were starting to get antsy as we packed up to head home. I responded to Jackson's shrieking cry with this, "Son, when have I ever NOT fed you?!" In that moment I heard the Lords voice echo that same phrase in my ear, "Steph, when have I ever NOT fed you??" He always provides for us, always:

 "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Matthew 6:30, ESV)

I am paraphrasing my response to her and taking out some personal info for anonymity. Here are some of the things we have found helpful, that has freed us up to use our money to better serve the Lord with and not ourselves:

There are not enough nap times in the world to cross everything off on my to-do list...sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you!

Ok so the combination of Jesse being ridiculously frugal and me being a hippy has boded well for us in the area of finances. We try to make as many things as possible and fight commercialism, buying only what we and the boys need, to keep our expenses down.

1. Something you can do now is save/set aside $2-3K for hospital bills and pregnancy appointments. We haven't received all of our bills yet but kids are pricey and depending on how many interventions/appt's you need you can be responsible for several thousand. Having that money set aside beforehand is a huge stress off your shoulders when your baby comes! (A big saver for us was also having a natural birth. Epiderals are expensive and so is paying for the anesthesiologist! I didn't take any med's in the hospital, a Tylenol is even like $10/pill, and it cut down on our bill significantly. Obviously you can't help it if you need a C-section or other interventions, just food for thought.)

2. Also start living off of his income alone (if you don't already do that). We have always lived off of Jesse's income and saved mine so we were used to it but it's still a shock not having that second income.

The two biggest money-savers after babies for us have been breastfeeding and cloth diapering:

3. Breastfeeding: There's a big learning curve to it but MOST women will produce enough milk to feed their babies everything they need. I am still amazed at how my milk has adapted to feeding two babies who have already doubled their birth weight. I won't bombard you with tips or how-to's now but feel free to ask me any questions when the time comes. We had problems in the beginning with poor latches and weight gain issues so it hasn't always been easy for us but it is 1. the best food for babies, 2. comes out "pre-measured" and at the right temp and 3. SO much cheaper than formula. (jumping off my bf-ing soapbox now :))

You can also receive a free pump with your insurance. That will be your best friend to help increase your supply and when he/she starts sleeping through the night you will feel so full it'll be painful if you don't pump it out! I have a Medela and highly recommend it!

4. Cloth diapering: We bought about 40 diapers from alvababy.com. At $5 per diaper and after purchasing nighttime inserts we spent about $230 on diapers that will last us (hopefully) years and several kids. In just a few months we have saved several hundred dollars. For one baby you would only need about 15-20 diapers to get started and can add to that if you find you need more. If you're thinking you might get into cloth diapering I can give you more info on our "system". It is extra work but for us it's worth it.

5. Hand-me-downs are wonderful! We got all our big-ticket items from older cousins who were done with the baby scene We got both our cribs, bouncy chairs, swing, rocking chair, etc from others which saved us a ton. It also freed our registry up for the smaller items that add up fast!

6. Put everything you might need for the first year on your registry. People are generous and loving buying baby things. We still have gifts that are unopened because we don't need them yet but it will be so helpful that we don't have to buy them later!

7. If you can, buy baby things that aren't labeled "baby". For example, we bought a in-home wi-fi security camera to view through our phones for the boys' room for about $60. A baby video monitor is $200-250 depending on the brand.

8. DIY it: I make a lot of things for the boys. It saves us a lot per month by just making our own baby wipes out of paper towels (since we cloth diaper I'm hoping to transition to cloth wipes soon and save even more). I can give you our wipe solution if you're interested. I just made swaddle sacks for our guys and fleece hats which were pretty simple and a fun hobby in the beginning when they napped for a few hrs at a time. And they only cost a couple bucks and a little time.

9. I just encourage you to get creative and have fun! And if you're getting too stressed out cloth diapering or making wipes buying disposable is just fine do whatever works for you guys financially and don't let them stress you out. Spending $200/month on diapers for us would be way more stressful than doing diaper laundry so that's motivation for us. Jesse and I are on the same page with these things we do to save money so we are able to support each other in them. If he wasn't such a big encouragement for breastfeeding and cloth diapering it would be way harder to keep going with them. There are countless nights when we're running low on diapers that Jesse is off doing diaper laundry while I'm nursing which is so helpful! I know if there's something I can't get done during the day I will have help when he gets home and that relieves so much of the pressure I put on myself to be "super mom".

10. Maternity clothes: I wore a lot of hand-me-downs from coworkers, especially for work clothes that I would probably only wear during that pregnancy. For the rest of my wardrobe I bought from oldnavy.com. I found some great sales and coupon codes and spent less than $100 total on new clothes. My fave's are ribbed tanks (stretch really well to whatever size belly you have), skinny jeans with belly band, and low-rise leggings w/o belly band. I liked wearing maternity tanks with maternity pants then I could wear my regular cardigans over them to be dressy. That might have saved a little bit and gave me more of a variety. You can also look on zulily.com. That's a good website with discounted maternity clothes.

Friends, these are just what's helped Jesse and I stay within our budget. This is, by far, not a comprehensive list! As our family grows and changes we will learn new "tricks" and hopefully get even better at stewarding our money.

How do you keep up with your families needs while still saving money? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas, feel free to post and share below!